It seems that I’ve been in something of a knitting slump lately. Every project that I’ve started has gone a little screwy.
I signed up for the Hat Attack on a whim. It seemed like a small project that I could do with few problems. Plus it would give me a way to work out my anger from the projects that went wrong.
The idea of the Hat Attack was borrowed from Sock Wars. Instead of knitting socks, which can be time-consuming and intimidating to newbies, the Hat Attack would use a hat pattern. Everyone can do a hat. Each participant is assigned a target, and the targets are scrambled so that one person’s assassin is not the person’s target. My assassin lives in Canada. My target lives in North Carolina. Somehow, I felt like I might have a little bit of an advantage.
The pattern was released shortly before 9 AM Eastern, and I was on it immediately. I knitted furiously for the next hour only to find… Rats! I had been bitten by my tendency to skip reading the directions completely. I frogged and started over. The second time was all it took before I was off and running.
Seven hours (plus two 30-minute breaks and many “Doctor Who” episodes later), I chuckled in glee as I cracked my knuckles and declared to my bemused family that I was done. I forced my child to don the hat and hold my needles like she was blowing out the smoke at the tips. I then grabbed my purse and headed out to see if I could find someone to ship the hat on a Saturday evening.
My first try was the FedEx counter at Kinkos, which I knew would be open 24×7. I high-tailed it out of there when the Kinkos employee told me (with a straight face) that it would cost over $35 to get the package to my recipient in North Carolina by noon on Tuesday. I ended up at the Post Office, only to find out that every single shipping envelope in the lobby was gone. So I backtracked to CVS and picked up an envelope and tape. I finally got the package mailed (for much less than FedEx was asking) at about 8 PM.
I never really understood those people who proudly proclaimed that they had finished early. It only increased the likelihood that they’d have to finish someone else’s project. This is a bummer for two reasons. First, it means knitting the same pattern again (but in yarn of someone else’s choosing… always a risky proposition). Second, it deprives someone else the satisfaction of finishing. So I spent the time since then keeping my mouth shut about my status.
At this point, I know two things…
- My assassin has launched her “weapon”. It looks really pretty, and I think “death” will come easily.
- The USPS guarantees that my “weapon” will arrive at its destination by noon tomorrow. Poor, poor target!
This was a great project to do right now. It turned out well. I knitted to gauge all the way through. And it got rid of a little bit of Cascade 220 Tweed that has been in my stash for two years.
I just hope that my target takes her death well.